Bashar al-Assad Quotes

America is interested in re-arranging the region as it sees fit.


Armies are not only for offensives.


As far as we are concerned, we Syria have not changed.


As soon as the legitimate Lebanese government is convinced that the conditions have ripened and that Lebanon is able to maintain stability on its own... Then, the Syrian forces will return to their homeland.


But the issue has to do with land, which is our land.


Despite the ethnic diversity within each nation, the social fabric of the region by and large is one.


Hizbullah is not a militia.


Is there an equality of power between America and Iraq? Definitely not; however, the Iraqi people are standing fast and are defending their land courageously.


Israel does not care about the international public opinion.


Israel ranks her priorities in the following way: security, land, and water.


Israeli interests are not necessarily in harmony with the American interests.


It is even more so when it comes to Iraq, which is a large Arab country with scientific, material, and human resources and is able to accomplish, at the least, what Lebanon accomplished, and more.


It is natural that we should always expect an Israeli attack, even when it does not threaten.


It should be known that Israel is based on treachery.


It would be a mistake to link anything that Israel does to a certain circumstance. And it is a mistake to feel comfortable in any circumstance just because Israel did not act on it.


Lebanon was under Israeli occupation, up to its capital, but we did not consider that a disaster. Why? Because it was very clear that there are ways to resist.


No doubt that the U.S. is a super-power capable of conquering a relatively small country, but is it able to control it?

The logical thing is to implement the Arab Defense Agreement.


The most significant indicator that there is no disaster in Iraq is the fact that there is no exodus.


The problem is not the occupation, but how people deal with it.


The U.S. and Britain are incapable of controlling all of Iraq.


Today, the Iraqi citizen sees that America is coming and wants to occupy his country and kill him, and he is willing to experience for himself what happened in Palestine.


We are dealing with treachery and threats, which accompanied the establishment of Israel.


We believe that Lebanon has been the first real experience for all the Arabs.


We, in Syria, our point of view stems from our experience.


When Lebanon started its resistance it was a small and divided country.


When our interests matched, the Americans have been good to us, and when the interests differed, they wanted us to mold ourselves to them, which we refused.


When we analyze this war in a materialistic way and ask when is it going to end and who will be the winner and the loser, it means that we do not see the endgame.


Worry does not mean fear, but readiness for the confrontation.


You in Lebanon, your power is no match to Israel. Israel, militarily, is more powerful than you and maybe it is more powerful than all the Arab countries, or most of them.


None of us and none of the Arabs trust Israel.


Since its very inception, Israel has been a threat.


The Israeli lobby has clout in the U.S., which means that re-arranging the region and controlling its resources one way or another, will serve Israel through its control over the American administration.

Amy Winehouse Quotes

Amy: We're not planning a honeymoon. Every day is a honeymoon - I've married the best man in the world.

Amy: I'm not a fighter, but if I am backed up against the wall I'll kick the shit out of anyone.

Amy: I don't think your ability to fight has anything to do with how big you are. It's to do with how much anger is in you.

Amy: I'm of the school of thought where, if you can't sort something out for yourself, no one can help you. Rehab is great for some people but not others.

Amy: I'm either a really good drunk or I'm an out-and-out sh*t, horrible, violent, abusive, emotional drunk.

Amy: Girls talk to each other like men talk to each other. But girls have an eye for detail.

Amy: After Frank I didn't write for 18 months but when I met Mark (Ronson) I pretty much wrote the album in six months - he was so inspiring.

Amy: My first kiss was about 11 or 12 and it was with a Greek boy called Chris. .... who's gay now!

Amy: I like pin-up girls. I'm more of a boy than a girl. I'm not a lesbian, though - not before a sambuca anyway.

Amy: I have a really good time some nights, but then I push it over the edge and ruin my boyfriend's night. I'm an ugly dickhead drunk, I really am.

Amy: I can't even listen to Frank any more... In fact, I've never been able to. I like playing the tracks live because that's different but listening to them is another story.

Amy: (about cocktail Rickstasy) By the time you've had two of them you're like, don't even try and go anywhere. Sit down and stay down, until the birds start singing.

Simon Cowell Quotes

I do a couple of hundred press-ups a day but I haven't been to a gym in years.


I don't think I can do this anymore.


I have always hated celebrities lecturing people on politics. So forgive me. But I am passionate about this country. I am equally passionate about the potential of the people who live here.


I have seen that the American Dream is a reality - and I would love to feel the British Dream is also a reality. To enable that, we have to bring back some common sense and encourage family values, a proper sense of justice and make people believe they have a decent chance to build a business or career for themselves. I see this moment as a fantastic opportunity to restore this, because I believe Britain Has Talent.


I met someone the other night who's 28 years old, and he hasn't worked a day since he left college because he's pursuing a dream he'll never, ever realize: He thinks he's a great singer. Actually, he's crap.


I think that by ignoring the show you're ignoring the audience who put you there.


I think you have to judge everything based on your personal taste. And if that means being critical, so be it. I hate political correctness. I absolutely loathe it.


If I said to most of the people who auditioned, 'Good job, awesome, well done,' it would have made me actually look and feel ridiculous. It's quite obvious most of the people who turned up for this audition were hopeless.


If we had to choose one American Idol to go out to dinner with, it would be Fantasia. There are no airs and graces about her... I like her.


If you've got a big mouth and you're controversial, you're going to get attention.


If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.


My attitude is, if someone's going to criticize me, tell me to my face.


My proudest achievement has been the success of the shows and artists I have been involved with, because they were made in Britain.


Not everybody is perfect, and I don't think we should be looking for perfect people.


Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.


The end of the animal trade would leave more time to trap or beat to death pop star wannabes.


The object of this competition is not to be mean to the losers but to find a winner. The process makes you mean because you get frustrated.


We have hated the French for years. Now you have just joined the club. It makes you much more likable.


When I was young and we got caught pinching apples, we got a smack from the local policeman. Today if that happened he would be sued. There is a tendency to punish the victim, not the criminal. If someone broke into my house or my mum's house, I worry that the burglar has more rights than me.


Whether they run a record company or a grocery store, every boss will tell you you're in big trouble if you're borrowing more than you can ever afford to pay back. Delaying the pain for future generations is suicidal. We've got to start getting the deficit down right now, not next year.


You are a saucy little thing aren't you?

Rupert Murdoch Quotes

I am amazed that CNN can't get its act together.

I think a newspaper should be provocative, stir 'em up, but you can't do that on television. It's just not on.

I try to keep in touch with the details... I also look at the product daily. That doesn't mean you interfere, but it's important occasionally to show the ability to be involved. It shows you understand what's happening.

I'm a catalyst for change. You can't be an outsider and be successful over 30 years without leaving a certain amount of scar tissue around the place.

In motivating people, you've got to engage their minds and their hearts. I motivate people, I hope, by example - and perhaps by excitement, by having productive ideas to make others feel involved.

Much of what passes for quality on British television is no more than a reflection of the narrow elite which controls it and has always thought that its tastes were synonymous with quality.

No one's going to be able to operate without a grounding in the basic sciences. Language would be helpful, although English is becoming increasingly international. And travel. You have to have a global attitude.

Our reputation is more important than the last hundred million dollars.

The buck stops with the guy who signs the checks.

The world is changing very fast. Big will not beat small anymore. It will be the fast beating the slow.

There is so much media now with the Internet and people, and so easy and so cheap to start a newspaper or start a magazine, there's just millions of voices and people want to be heard.

You can't build a strong corporation with a lot of committees and a board that has to be consulted every turn. You have to be able to make decisions on your own.

Tiger Woods Quotes

Achievements on the golf course are not what matters, decency and honesty are what matter.

And I don't cook, either. Not as long as they still deliver pizza.


As a kid, I might have been psycho, I guess, but I used to throw golf balls in the trees and try and somehow make par from them. I thought that was fun.


Don't force your kids into sports. I never was. To this day, my dad has never asked me to go play golf. I ask him. It's the child's desire to play that matters, not the parent's desire to have the child play. Fun. Keep it fun.


For many my behavior has been a major disappointment, my behavior has caused considerable worry to my business partners, and everyone involved in my business, but most importantly to the young people we influence, I apologize.


Green and black go well together, don't they?


Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.


I did envisage being this successful as a player, but not all the hysteria around it off the golf course.


I do plan to return to golf one day, I just don't know when that day will be.


I don't get to live by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me.


I get to play golf for a living. What more can you ask for - getting paid for doing what you love.


I love to play golf, and that's my arena. And you can characterize it and describe it however you want, but I have a love and a passion for getting that ball in the hole and beating those guys.


I stopped living according to my core values. I knew what I was doing was wrong but thought only about myself and thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to.


I want to be what I've always wanted to be: dominant.


I'm addicted. I'm addicted to golf.


I'm aware if I'm playing at my best I'm tough to beat. And I enjoy that.


I'm not as far along as Jack Nicklaus was at this age, but I'm trying.


If money titles meant anything, I'd play more tournaments. The only thing that means a lot to me is winning. If I have more wins than anybody else and win more majors than anybody else in the same year, then it's been a good year.


If you are given a chance to be a role model, I think you should always take it because you can influence a person's life in a positive light, and that's what I want to do. That's what it's all about.

Civilization 5 Quotes

 Civilization 5 Quotes

—

ERA ANCIENT1:
“Proud is the spirit of Zeus-fostered kings – their honor comes from Zeus, and Zeus, god of council, loves them.”
– Homer

ERA ANCIENT2:
“He who knows others is wise;”
He who knows himself is enlightened.
– Lao-tzu

ERA ANCIENT3:
“The king’s might is greater than human, and his arm is very long.”
– Herodotus

ERA BALLISTICS:
“‘Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down?
That’s not my department,’ says Wernher von Braun.”

- Tom Hehrer

ERA CLASSICAL1:
“Proud is the spirit of Zeus-fostered kings – their honor comes from Zeus, and Zeus, god of council, loves them.”
– Homer

ERA CLASSICAL2:
“He who knows others is wise;”
He who knows himself is enlightened.
– Lao-tzu

ERA CLASSICAL3:
“The king’s might is greater than human, and his arm is very long.”
– Herodotus

ERA FUTURE1:
“For tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today.”
– African proverb

ERA FUTURE2:
“[T]he future is not what it used to be.”
– Paul Valery

ERA FUTURE3:
“I never think about the future. It comes soon enough.”
– Albert Einstein

ERA INDUSTRIAL2:
“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”
– Mark Twain

ERA INDUSTRIAL3:
“The day of small nations has long passed away. The day of Empires has come.”
– Joseph Chamberlain

ERA MEDIEVAL1:
“An emperor is subject to no one but God and Justice.”
– Frederick I, Barbarossa

ERA MEDIEVAL2:
“This life of man appears for a short space, but of what went before, or what is to follow, we are utterly ignorant.”
– Venerable Bede

ERA MEDIEVAL3:
“The voice of the people is the voice of God.”
– Alcuin

ERA MODERN1:
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
– Franklin Delano Roosevelt

ERA MODERN2:
“A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.”
– Joseph Stalin

ERA MODERN3:
“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”
– Ronald Reagan

ERA RENAISSANCE1:
“Whoever desires to found a state and give it laws, must start with assuming that all men are bad and ever ready to display their vicious nature, whenever they may find occasion for it.”
– Niccolo Machiavelli

ERA RENAISSANCE2:
“In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.”
– Desiderius Erasmus

ERA RENAISSANCE3:
“Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?”
– Pope Julius III

TECH ACOUSTICS:
“Their rising all at once was as the sound of thunder heard remote.”
– Milton

TECH ADVANCED BALLISTICS:
“Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down?”
– Tom Hehrer

TECH AGRICULTURE:
“Where tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers therefore are the founders of human civilization.”
– Daniel Webster

TECH ANIMAL HUSBANDRY:
“Thou shalt not muzzle the ox when he treadeth out the corn.”
– The Bible, Deuteronomy, 25:4

TECH ARCHAEOLOGY:
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
– George Santayana

TECH ARCHERY:
“The haft of the arrow had been feathered with one of the eagle’s own plumes. We often give our enemies the means of our own destruction.”
– Aesop

TECH ASTRONOMY:
“Joyfully to the breeze royal Odysseus spread his sail, and with his rudder skillfully he steered.”
– Homer

TECH ATOMIC THEORY:
“The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything save our modes of thinking, and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophes.”
– Albert Einsten

TECH BANKING:
“Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook and a good digestion.”
– Jean Jacques Rousseau

TECH BIOLOGY:
“If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.”
– Lyall Watson

TECH BRONZE WORKING:
“Here Hector entered, with a spear eleven cubits long in his hand; the bronze point gleamed in front of him, and was fastened to the shaft of the spear by a ring of gold.”
– Homer

TECH CALCULUS:
“In the fall of 1972 President Nixon announced that the rate of increase of inflation was decreasing. This was the first time that a sitting president used the third derivative to advance his case for reelection.”
– Hugo Rossi

TECH CALENDAR:
“So teach us to number our days, so that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”
– The Bible, Psalms, 90:12

TECH CHEMISTRY:
“Wherever we look, the work of the chemist has raised the level of our civilization and has increased the productive capacity of the nation.”
– Calvin Coolidge

TECH CHIVALRY:
“Whoso pulleth out this sword of this stone and anvil, is rightwise king born of all England.”
– Malory

TECH CIVIL SERVICE:
“The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency.”
– Eugene McCarthy

TECH COMBUSTION:
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
– Albert Einstein

TECH COMPUTERS:
“Computers are like Old Testament gods: lots of rules and no mercy.”
– Joseph Campbell

TECH CONSTRUCTION:
“Three things are to be looked to in a building: that it stand on the right spot; that it be securely founded; that it be successfully executed.”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

TECH CURRENCY:
“Better is bread with a happy heart
Than wealth with vexation.”
– Amenemope

TECH DYNAMITE:
“As soon as men decide that all means are permitted to fight an evil, then their good becomes indistinguishable from the evil that they set out to destroy.”
– Christopher Dawson

TECH ECOLOGY:
“Only within the moment of time represented by the present century as one species, man, acquired significant power to alter the nature of his world.”
– Rachel Carson

TECH ECONOMICS:
“Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe.”
– Albert Einstein

TECH EDUCATION:
“Education is the best provision for old age.”
– Aristotle

TECH ELECTRICITY:
“Is it a fact – or have I dreamt it – that, by means of electricity, the world of matter has become a great nerve, vibrating thousands of miles in a breathless point of time?”
– Nathaniel Hawthorne

TECH ELECTRONICS:
“There’s a basic principle about consumer electronics: it gets more powerful all the time and it gets cheaper all the time.”
– Trip Hawkins

TECH ENGINEERING:
“Instrumental or mechanical science is the noblest and, above all others, the most useful.”
– Leonardo da Vinci

TECH FERTILIZER:
“The nation that destroys its soil destroys itself.”
– Franklin Delano Roosevelt

TECH FLIGHT:
“Aeronautics was neither an industry nor a science. It was a miracle.”
– Igor Sikorsky

TECH FUTURE TECH:
“I think we agree, the past is over.”
– George W. Bush

TECH GLOBALIZATION:
“The new electronic interdependence recreates the world in the image of a global village.”
– Marshall McLuhan

TECH GUNPOWDER:
“The day when two army corps can annihilate each other in one second, all civilized nations, it is to be hoped, will recoil from war and discharge their troops.”
– Alfred Nobel

TECH HORSEBACK RIDING:
“My kingdom for a horse!”
– Shakespeare (Richard III)

TECH IRON WORKING:
“Do not wait to strike ’til the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.”
– William Butler Yeats

TECH LASERS:
“The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light.”
– The Holy Bible: Romans, 13:12

TECH MACHINERY:
“The press is the best instrument for enlightening the mind of man, and improving him as a rational, moral and social being.”
– Thomas Jefferson

TECH MASONRY:
“How happy are those whose walls already rise!”
– Virgil

TECH MASS MEDIA:
“The speed of communications is wondrous to behold. It is also true that speed can multiply the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.”
– Edward R. Murrow

TECH MATHEMATICS:
“Mathematics is the gate and key to the sciences.”
– Roger Bacon

TECH METAL CASTING:
“When pieces of bronze or gold or iron break, the metal-smith welds them together again in the fire, and the bond is established.”
– Sri Guru Granth Sahib

TECH METALLURGY:
“There never was a good knife made of bad steel.”
– Benjamin Franklin

TECH MILITARY SCIENCE:
“Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men. It is the spirit of the men who follow and of the man who leads that gains the victory.”
– George S. Patton

TECH MINING:
“The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights.”
– J. Paul Getty

TECH NANOTECHNOLOGY:
“The impact of nanotechnology is expected to exceed the impact that the electronics revolution has had on our lives.”
– Richard Schwartz

TECH NAVIGATION:
“The winds and the waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.”
– Edward Gibbon

TECH NUCLEAR FISSION:
“I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.”
– J. Robert Oppenheimer

TECH NUCLEAR FUSION:
“The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.”
– Albert Einstein

TECH OPTICS:
“He made an instrument to know
If the moon shine at full or no.”
– Samuel Butler

TECH PARTICLE PHYSICS:
“Every particle of matter is attracted by or gravitates to every other particle of matter with a force inversely proportional to the squares of their distances.”
– Isaac Newton

TECH PATRONAGE:
“Everything passes – Robust art
Alone is eternal.
The bust
Survives the city.”
– Theophile Gautier

TECH PENICILIN:
“In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men.”
– Cicero

TECH PHILOSOPHY:
“There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.”
– Socrates

TECH PHYSICS:
“Measure what is measurable, and make measurable what is not so.”
– Galileo

TECH PLASTICS:
“Ben, I want to say one word to you, just one word: plastics.”
– Buck Henry and Calder Willingham, The Graduate

TECH POTTERY:
“Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth it, What makest thou?”
– The Bible, Isaiah, 45:9

TECH PRINTING PRESS:
“It is a newspaper’s duty to print the news and raise hell.”
– The Chicago Times

TECH RADAR:
“Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.”
– Jonathan Swift

TECH RADIO:
“The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.”
– Woody Allen

TECH RAILROAD:
“The introduction of so powerful an agent as steam to a carriage on wheels will make a great change in the situation of man.”
– Thomas Jefferson

TECH REFRIGERATION:
“And homeless near a thousand homes I stood, and near a thousand tables pined and wanted food.”
– William Wordsworth

TECH REPLACEABLE PARTS:
“Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.”
– Henry Ford

TECH RIFLING:
“It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it.”
– Robert E. Lee

TECH ROBOTICS:
“1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except when such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.”
– Isaac Asimov

TECH ROCKETRY:
“A good rule for rocket experimenters to follow is this: always assume that it will explode.”
– Astronautics Magazine, 1937

TECH SAILING:
“He who commands the sea has command of everything.”
– Themistocles

TECH SATELLITES:
“Now, somehow, in some new way, the sky seemed almost alien.”
– Lyndon B. Johnson

TECH SCIENTIFIC THEORY:
“Every great advance in science has issued from a new audacity of imagination.”
– John Dewey

TECH STEALTH:
“Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness.  Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness.  Thereby you can be the director of the opponent’s fate.”
– Sun Tzu

TECH STEAM POWER:
“The nations of the West hope that by means of steam communication all the world will become as one family.”
– Townsend Harris

TECH STEEL:
John Henry said to his Captain,
“‘A man ain’t nothin’ but a man,
And before I’ll let your steam drill beat me down,
I’ll die with the hammer in my hand.’”
– Anonymous: The Ballad of John Henry, the Steel-Drivin’ Man

TECH TELEGRAPH:
“I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying ‘flee at once – all is discovered.’ They all left town immediately.”
– Mark Twain

TECH THE WHEEL:
“Wisdom and virtue are like the two wheels of a cart.”
– Japanese Proverb

TECH THEOLOGY:
“Three things are necessary for the salvation of man: to know what he ought to believe; to know what he ought to desire; and to know what he ought to do.”
– St. Thomas Aquinas

TECH TRAPPING:
“Even brute beasts and wandering birds do not fall into the same traps or nets twice.”
– Saint Jerome

TECH WRITING:
“He who destroys a good book kills reason itself.”
– John Milton

WONDER ANGKORWAT:
“The temple is like no other building in the world. It has towers and decoration and all the refinements which the human genius can conceive of.”
– Antonio da Magdalena

WONDER BIGBEN:
“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.”
– Leonard Bernstein

WONDER BRANDENBURGGATE:
“Pale Death beats equally at the poor man’s gate and at the palaces of kings.”
– Horace

WONDER CHICHENITZA:
“The katun is established at Chichen Itza. The settlement of the Itza shall take place there. The quetzal shall come, the green bird shall come. Ah Kantenal shall come. It is the word of God. The Itza shall come.”
– The Books of Chilam Balam

WONDER COLOSSUS:
“Why man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus; and we petty men walk under his huge legs, and peep about to find ourselves dishonorable graves.”
– William Shakespeare: Julius Caesar

WONDER CRISTOREDENTOR:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.”
– The Bible, Matthew 25:28

WONDER EIFFELTOWER:
“We live only to discover beauty. All else is a form of waiting.”
– Kahlil Gibran

WONDER FORBIDDENPALACE:
“Most of us can, as we choose, make of this world either a palace or a prison.”
– John Lubbock

WONDER GREATLIBRARY:
“Libraries are as the shrine where all the relics of the ancient saints, full of true virtue, and all that without delusion or imposture are preserved and reposed.”
– Sir Francis Bacon

WONDER GREATLIGHTHOUSE:
“They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; these see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep.”
– The Bible, Psalms 107:23-24

WONDER GREATWALL:
“The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy’s… not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable.”
– Sun Tzu

WONDER HAGIASOPHIA:
“For it soars to a height to match the sky, and as if surging up from amongst the other buildings it stands on high and looks down upon the remainder of the city, adorning it, because it is a part of it, but glorying in its own beauty.”
– Procopius, De Aedificis

WONDER HANGINGGARDENS:
“I think that if ever a mortal heard the word of God it would be in a garden at the cool of the day.”
– F. Frankfort Moore

WONDER HIMEJICASTLE:
“Bushido is realized in the presence of death. This means choosing death whenever there is a choice between life and death. There is no other reasoning.”
– Yamamoto Tsunetomo

WONDER KREMLIN:
“The Law is a fortress on a hill that armies cannot take or floods wash away.”
– The Prophet Muhammed

WONDER LOUVRE:
“Every genuine work of art has as much reason for being as the earth and the sun.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

WONDER MACHUPICCHU:
“Few romances can ever surpass that of the granite citadel on top of the beetling precipices of Machu Picchu, the crown of Inca Land.”
– Hiram Bingham

WONDER NOTREDAME:
“Architecture has recorded the great ideas of the human race. Not only every religious symbol, but every human thought has its page in that vast book.”
– Victor Hugo

WONDER ORACLE:
“The ancient Oracle said that I was the wisest of all the Greeks. It is because I alone, of all the Greeks, know that I know nothing.”
– Socrates

WONDER PENTAGON:
“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensible.”
– Dwight D. Eisenhower

WONDER PORCELAINTOWER:
“Things always seem fairer when we look back at them, and it is out of that inaccessible tower of the past that Longing leans and beckons.”
– James Russell Lowell

WONDER PYRAMIDS:
“O, let not the pains of death which come upon thee enter into my body. I am the god Tem, and I am in the foremost part of the sky, and the power which protecteth me is that which is with all the gods forever.”
– The Book of the Dead, translated by Sir Ernest Alfred Wallis Budge

WONDER SISTINECHAPEL:
“I live and love in God’s peculiar light.”
– Michelangelo Buonarroti

WONDER STATUEOFLIBERTY:
“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
– Emma Lazarus

WONDER STONEHENGE:
“Time crumbles things; everything grows old and is forgotten under the power of time.”
– Aristotle

WONDER SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE:
“Those who lose dreaming are lost.”
– Australian Aboriginal saying

WONDER TAJMAHAL:
“The Taj Mahal rises above the banks of the river like a solitary tear suspended on the cheek of time.”
– Rabindranath Tagore

WONDER UNITEDNATIONS:
“More than ever before in human history, we share a common destiny. We can master it only if we face it together. And that is why we have the United Nations.”
– Kofi Annan


In therapy I have learned the importance of keeping spiritual life and professional life balanced. I need to regain my balance.

Bin Laden Quotes

“And he moved the tyranny and suppression of freedom to his own country, and they called it the Patriot Act under the disguise of fighting terrorism.”

“We did not find it difficult to deal with Bush and his administration, because it is similar to regimes in our countries - both types include many who are full of arrogance and greed.”

“Even as you enter the fourth year after the Sept. 11 attacks, Bush is still misleading and deluding you and hiding the real reason from you.”

“America is a great power possessed of tremendous military might and a wide-ranging economy, but all this is built on an unstable foundation which can be targeted, with special attention to its obvious weak spots. If America is hit in one hundredth of these weak spots, God willing, it will stumble, wither away and relinquish world leadership.”

“to go out and murder innocent civilians.”

“Bush the father did well in placing his sons as governors and did not forget to pass on the expertise in fraud from the leaders of the region to Florida to use it in critical moments.”

“We love death. The US loves life. That is the difference between us two.”


“worse than the Jews.”


“We do not mind establishing a long-term truce between us and you.”


“We treat them in the same way. Those who kill our women and innocent, we kill their women and innocent, until they refrain.”


“If you [Americans] are sincere in your desire for peace and security, we have answered you.”

“I have sworn to only live free. Even if I find bitter the taste of death, I don't want to die humiliated or deceived.”


“The insistence of the Danish government to refrain from apologizing and its refusal to punish the criminals and take action to prevent this crime from being repeated... shows that the notions of freedom of speech have no roots, especially when it comes to Muslims.”


“are using our voices to condemn them.”


“I know absolutely nothing of this man. I condemn what happened (on September 11).”


“The dream to kill me will never be completed,”


“capturing him would mean a lot to the American people.”


“bit of an academic question.”

“[Ashcroft said the release of a list of the detainees' names would be a violation of privacy and be tantamount to a] blacklist. ... If he wants such a list, he'll have to try and assemble it himself.”


“I heard about the bombings the same way everyone else heard about them, from the television or radio. I did not order them but was very glad for what happened to the Americans there.”

“We have repeatedly issued warnings, over a number of years. Following these warnings and these calls, anti-American explosions took place in a number of Islamic countries.”


“The operations are under preparation and you will see them in your houses as soon as they are complete.”


“We had patience in our fighting with the Soviet Union with simple weapons for 10 years. We exhausted their economy, so they disappeared. We will not abandon our fight until the weapons run out.”



“Blair's policies will bring more destruction to Britons after the London explosions,”


“Three months after our blessed attack against the main infidel West, especially America, and two months after the infidel's attacks on Islam, we would like to talk about some of the implications of those incidents,”


“[The vice president also told Blitzer that] we've got a pretty good idea of the general area ... I don't have the street address.”


“We know that the majority of your people want this war to end and opinion polls show the Americans do not want to fight the Muslims on Muslim land, nor do they want Muslims to fight them on their land. Bush tried to ignore the polls that demanded that he end the war in Iraq.”


“It appeared to him that a little girl's talk about her goat and its butting was more important than the planes and their butting of the skyscrapers.”

“This resemblance became clear in the Bush the father's visits to the region.... He wound up being impressed by the royal and military regimes and envied them for staying decades in their positions and embezzling the nation's money with no supervision.”


“to avenge the slaughter of Muslims by America and its allies in Iraq.”


“I'm fighting so I can die a martyr and go to heaven to meet God. Our fight now is against the Americans.”


“The effort was never: Determine which individuals we ought to roll up,”

“The Bureau and the Mole.”

“It could be. It could be.”

“needle in a haystack.”

“I support any Muslims, whether here or abroad.

“wherever he is, he's not happy.”

“victory and glory or misery and humiliation.”

“remain vigilant.”

“They have killed us,”

Bob Dylan Quotes

A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.

A lot of people can't stand touring but to me it's like breathing. I do it because I'm driven to do it.

A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.

A mistake is to commit a misunderstanding.

A person is a success if they get up in the morning and gets to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.

A poem is a naked person... Some people say that I am a poet.

A song is anything that can walk by itself.

All I can do is be me, whoever that is.

All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie.

All this talk about equality. The only thing people really have in common is that they are all going to die.

At times in my life the only place I have been happy is when I am on stage.

Basically you have to suppress your own ambitions in order to be who you need to be.

Being noticed can be a burden. Jesus got himself crucified because he got himself noticed. So I disappear a lot.

Being on tour is like being in limbo. It's like going from nowhere to nowhere.

But even the President of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked.

Chaos is a friend of mine.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

Democracy don't rule the world, You'd better get that in your head; This world is ruled by violence, But I guess that's better left unsaid.

Don't matter how much money you got, there's only two kinds of people: there's saved people and there's lost people.

He not busy being born is busy dying.

I accept chaos, I'm not sure whether it accepts me.

I am against nature. I don't dig nature at all. I think nature is very unnatural. I think the truly natural things are dreams, which nature can't touch with decay.

I consider myself a poet first and a musician second. I live like a poet and I'll die like a poet.

I define nothing. Not beauty, not patriotism. I take each thing as it is, without prior rules about what it should be.

I don't think the human mind can comprehend the past and the future. They are both just illusions that can manipulate you into thinking theres some kind of change.

I have dined with kings, I've been offered wings. And I've never been too impressed.

I like America, just as everybody else does. I love America, I gotta say that. But America will be judged.

I say there're no depressed words just depressed minds.

I think a poet is anybody who wouldn't call himself a poet.

I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom.

I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours.

I'm just glad to be feeling better. I really thought I'd be seeing Elvis soon.

I'm speaking for all of us. I'm the spokesman for a generation.

I've never written a political song. Songs can't save the world. I've gone through all that.

If I wasn't , I'd probably think that has a lot of answers myself.

In ceremonies of the horsemen, even the pawn must hold a grudge.

In the dime stores and bus stations, people talk of situations, read books, repeat quotations, draw conclusions on the wall.

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky.

People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.

People today are still living off the table scraps of the sixties. They are still being passed around - the music and the ideas.

Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them.

The radio makes hideous sounds.

There is nothing so stable as change.

This land is your land and this land is my land, sure, but the world is run by those that never listen to music anyway.

To live outside the law, you must be honest.

Well, the future for me is already a thing of the past.

What good are fans? You can't eat applause for breakfast. You can't sleep with it.

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.

When you cease to exist, then who will you blame?

Yesterday's just a memory, tomorrow is never what it's supposed to be.

You learn from a conglomeration of the incredible past - whatever experience gotten in any way whatsoever.

Bob Marley Quotes

"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain."


"Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure you hands are clean!"

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."

"None but ourselves can free our minds."

"One love, one heart, one destiny."

"love the life you live.
live the life you love."

"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet."

"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively"


"Don't Gain The World & Lose Your Soul, Wisdom Is Better Than Silver Or Gold."

"The good times of today are the sad thoughts of tomorrow."

"Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!"

"Wake up and live "

"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery.
None but ourselves can free our minds."

"Don't worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright"

"When one door is closed, don't you know that many more are open"

"The people who were trying to make this world worse are not taking the day off. Why should I?"

"Judge not unless you judge yourself"

"Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction."

"Live for yourself and you will live in vain;
Live for others, and you will live again."

"Love would never leave us alone"

"You have to be someone."

"Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen. "

"Get up, stand up, Stand up for your rights. Get up, stand up, Don't give up the fight."

"My fear is my only courage"

"Though the road's been rocky it sure feels good to me."

"My music will go on forever. Maybe it's a fool say that, but when me know facts me can say facts. My music will go on forever."

"I don't stand for black mans side, I don't stand for white mans side, I stand for Gods side."

"One Love, One Heart, Let's get together and feel alright
"

"You can't find the right roads when the streets are paved."

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She's loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect, you aren't either & the two of you may never be perfect together. But if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking of you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she know's you can break: her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."

"Overcome the devils with a thing called love. "

"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean."

"There will never be no love at all."

"Me only have one ambition, y'know. I only have one thing I really like to see happen. I like to see mankind live together - black, white, Chinese, everyone - that's all."

"Better to die fighting for freedom then be a prisoner all the days of your life."


"Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?"

"When the race gets hard to run. It means you just can't take the peace."

"Life and Jah are one in the same. Jah is the gift of existence. I am in some way eternal, I will never be duplicated. The singularity of every man and woman is Jah's gift. What we struggle to make of it is our sole gift to Jah. The process of what that struggle becomes, in time, the Truth."

"Love the life you live, live the life you love."

"Herb is the unification of mankind."

"Ziggy, when you go up bring me up and when you go down don't let me down. Stephen, Money can't buy you life."

"If you get down and you quarrel everyday, you're saying praises to the devil, I say."


"The best thing about music is that when it hits you, you feel no pain."


"The stone that the builder refused shall be the head corner stone."

"The people who were trying to make this world worse are not taking the day off. Why should I?

"In this bright future you can't forget your past."


"tell me what you think it means."


"Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure you hands are clean!"


"Until the philosophy which hold one race superior and another inferior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned...
Everything is war. Me say war.
That until the're no longer 1st class and 2nd class citizens of any nation...
Until the color of a man's skin is of
no more significa...nce than the color of his eyes, me say war. That until the basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race me say war!"

"Bob Marley isn't my name. I don't even know my name yet."

"When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself."

"Lively Up Yourself"

"Don't give up the fight,
Stand up for your rights."

"Everytime I plant a seed,he say kill it before it grow, he say kill it before they grow."

"Every man gotta right to decide his own destiny"

"I'n'I nah come to fight flesh and blood,
But spiritual wickedness in 'igh and low places.
So while they fight you down,
Stand firm and give Jah thanks and praises.
'Cos I'n'I no expect to be justified
by the laws of men - by the laws of men.
Oh, true they have found me guilty,
But through - through Jah proved my innocency."

"Love the life you Live. Live the life you LOVE."

"Tell the children the truth."

"Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living ?"

"Os homens pensam que possuem uma mente, mas é a mente que os possui. Há pessoas que amam o poder, e outras que tem o poder de amar"

"When one door is closed, don't you know, another is open"

"I've been here before and will come again, but I'm not going this trip through."

"My future is righteousness."

"live the life you love, love the life you live"


"Quando você acha q sabe todas as perguntas vem à vida e muda todas as respostas"

"Man is a universe within himself."

"My music fights against the system that teaches to live and die."

"good times of today, are the bad thoughts of tom."

"until the end of the world,all whys will be answered,but now,you can only ask!"

"a pot a cook but the food na kno"

Zoidberg Quotes

"Futurama: Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love? (#2.9)" (2000)
[Dr. Zoidberg is preparing to look for a mate]
Dr. Zoidberg: How do I look?
Bender: Like whale barf.
Dr. Zoidberg: Then the illusion is complete.

[Zoidberg is trying to attract a mate]
Dr. Zoidberg: [screeching] Craw.
Female: Keep your jelly away from my eggs.
Dr. Zoidberg: [screeching] Craw.
Female: [Valley Girl accent] I'm SO not interested.
Dr. Zoidberg: [screeching] Craw?
Female: [Black woman accent] Hmph. I've heard THAT line before.

Edna: I heard you went off and became a rich doctor.
Dr. Zoidberg: [proudly] I've performed a few mercy killings.

[Fry is being Zoidberg's Cyrano]
Fry: Start with a compliment. Tell her she looks thin.
Dr. Zoidberg: [calling to Edna] You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from internal parasites?
Edna: [pleased] Why, yes. Thanks for noticing.

[Zoidberg has caught Fry in bed with Edna, a lobster alien]
Dr. Zoidberg: [enraged] Fry. I challenge you to "clawplach".
Fry: English, please?
Dr. Zoidberg: A fight to the death.
Edna: And if you survive, we'll make sweet love.
[Fry pauses to think it over, then screams]

Fry: Okay, you're on a date. What's the first thing you do?
Dr. Zoidberg: Ask her to mate with me.
Fry: No, tell her she's special.
Dr. Zoidberg: But she's not, she's merely the female with the largest clutch of eggs.
Fry: Well, tell her that. And then?
Dr. Zoidberg: Then mating.
Fry: No, make up some feelings and tell her you have them.
[Dr. Zoidberg raises his hand]
Fry: Yes?
Dr. Zoidberg: Is desire to mate a feeling?
Fry: Ugh, you're not even trying.
Dr. Zoidberg: Ohhh, it's all so complicated, with the flowers, and the romance, and the lies upon lies.

Fry: So you have to choose between life without sex and a hideous, gruesome death?
Dr. Zoidberg: Yes.
Fry: Tough call.

Dr. Zoidberg: This "love" intrigues me. Teach me to fake it.

Dr. Zoidberg: I'm confused, Fry. I'm feeling a strange new emotion I have never felt before. Is it love when you care for a female for reasons beyond mating?
Fry: Nope. Must be some weird, alien emotion.

Dr. Zoidberg: The frenzy is over. How am I going to get rid of my male jelly now?
Fry: [Waves dismembered arm] I'll lend you this.

Dr. Zoidberg: Fry, it's been years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species, fatal or non-fatal?

Leela: Dr. Zoidberg, this is madness! You're being irrational!
Dr. Zoidberg: Of course I'm being irrational! I'm in love!
Leela: Aww.

Fry: Don't worry. The Lovemeister will take you under his wing.
Dr. Zoidberg: What? Now there's a bird involved?

Dr. Zoidberg: I used to hang out here as a larva. It looked so much bigger back then.
[picks up a hermit crab]
Dr. Zoidberg: Who's the tough guy now, Vinnie?
[eats crab]

Leela: It's amazing that your people can fall in love so fast.
Dr. Zoidberg: Love? That word is unknown here. I'm just looking for a female swollen with eggs who will accept my genetic material.
Fry: You and me both, brother!

Fry: [Fry is telling Zoidberg what to say to Edna, a female] Tell her you just want to talk, it has nothing to do with mating!
Dr. Zoidberg: [calling] I just want to talk, it has nothing to do with mating!
[to Fry]
Dr. Zoidberg: Fry, that doesn't make sense!
Edna: [calling] Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense! But OK.

Dr. Zoidberg: I want the tactile pleasure in cutting him here...
[points his claw at Fry's neck]
Dr. Zoidberg: ...in the gonads.
Fry: [to crowd] Shhhhhh. Nobody correct him.

Fry: Okay, you're on a date. What's the first thing you do?
Dr. Zoidberg: Ask her to mate with me.
Fry: No, tell her she's special.
Dr. Zoidberg: But she's not, she's merely the female with the largest clutch of eggs.
Fry: Well, tell her that. And then what?
Dr. Zoidberg: Then mating.
Fry: No, make up some feelings and tell her you have them.
[Dr. Zoidberg raises his hand]
Fry: Yes?
Dr. Zoidberg: Is desire to mate a feeling?
Fry: Ugh, you're not even trying.
Dr. Zoidberg: Ohhh, it's all so complicated, with the flowers, and the romance, and the lies upon lies.

Fry: So you have to choose between life without sex and a hideous, gruesome death?
Dr. Zoidberg: Yes.
Fry: Man, tough call.

[Zoidberg is trying to attract a mate]
Dr. Zoidberg: [screeching] Craw.
Female Decapodian: Keep your jelly away from my eggs.
Dr. Zoidberg: [screeching] Craw.
Female Decapodian: [Valley Girl accent] I'm *so* not interested.
Dr. Zoidberg: [screeching] Craw?
Female Decapodian: [urban accent] Hmph. I've heard *that* line before.

"Futurama: A Taste of Freedom (#5.4)" (2002)
Dr. Zoidberg: I wonder what the shroud of Turin tastes like.

Fry: Wow! Nude hot-tubbing - that's all I need to hear about Freedom Day!
Dr. Zoidberg: Then consider the following lecture a bonus.

[On the run from Earth authorities after eating the flag]
Dr. Zoidberg: My planet's embassy? Why, they'd pay to not kill me!

Dr. Zoidberg: Is it possible that all this slavery and oppression is smutzing up our freedom lesson?
Ambassador Moivin: Ah, take a pill, Zoidberg!

Leela: Dr. Zodberg - how can you claim to love freedom and then enslave humanity?
Dr. Zoidberg: Bah! Your planet doesn't deserve freedom until it learns what it is not to have freedom. It's a lesson, I say!

Fry: So what is Freedom Day? Sounds like some kind of feminine hygiene product.
Dr. Zoidberg: No. It's a fabulous, crabulous day!
Amy Wong: If you wanna do something, you do it, and to splick with the consequences.
Bender: You know, like how I live every day.
[trips up Hermes]
Hermes Conrad: Happy Freedom Day! Ow, I think I broke my wrist.

Dr. Zoidberg: I'm swelling with patriotic mucus.

Dr. Zoidberg: I wonder what the Shroud of Turin tastes like.

Leela: Dr. Zoidberg - how can you claim to love freedom and then enslave humanity?
Dr. Zoidberg: Bah! Your planet doesn't deserve freedom until it learns what it is not to have freedom. It's a lesson, I say!

"Futurama: Parasites Lost (#3.4)" (2001)
Hermes Conrad: [Cruising around Fry's muscles] Soon he'll be stronger and more flexible than Hercules and Gumby combined!
Dr. Zoidberg: Gumbercules? I love that guy!

[after shrinking down to microscopic size in order to enter Fry's body, Zoidberg comes in riding a sperm]
Dr. Zoidberg: Yippy ki yay. Guess where I've been.

[Zoidberg scrapes cholesterol off Fry's artery]
Dr. Zoidberg: It's good cholesterol, but it spreads like bad cholesterol.

Dr. Zoidberg: We'll need to have a look inside you with this camera.
[Fry opens his mouth]
Dr. Zoidberg: Guess again.

Bender: Where are we? The ass?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: We're in the heart, better known as the love muscle.
Dr. Zoidberg: Where the food is digested.

[Fry has been impaled by a lead pipe and is seeing Zoidberg for help]
Dr. Zoidberg: Ah, here's the hypochondriac. What seems to be the trouble now?
Fry: My lead pipe hurts.
Dr. Zoidberg: Perfectly normal. Next!

Amy Wong: Look! They're jazzercising Fry's muscles.
Hermes Conrad: He'll be as strong and flexible as Gumby and Hercules combined.
Dr. Zoidberg: Gumercules? I love that guy!

"Futurama: That's Lobstertainment! (#3.8)" (2001)
Waiter: What can I get you gentlemen?
Dr. Zoidberg: Is bread free?
Waiter: Yeah.
Dr. Zoidberg: We'll split an order.

Calculon: Let me see the script.
[after reading for a second]
Calculon: No, I don't like the font. Wait. "Harold Zoid". Was this written by 'the' Harold Zoid?
Dr. Zoidberg: Written and Xeroxed.

Bender: That plot makes perfect sense. Wink, wink.
Dr. Zoidberg: Bender, you said 'wink, wink' out loud.
Bender: No I didn't. Raise middle finger.

Dr. Zoidberg: What category are they on?
Bender: They're giving out the minor technical awards. I think they're up to Writing.

Harold Zoid: So, you want to be a comedian, is it?
Dr. Zoidberg: It's my life long dream.
Harold Zoid: Well, that dream dies now! You're unfunny and untalented. That's why you're perfect for drama.

Calculon: Let me see the script.
[after reading for a second]
Calculon: No, I don't like the font. Wait. "Harold Zoid". Was this written by 'the' Harold Zoid ?
Dr. Zoidberg: Written and Xeroxed.

Waiter at Elzars: What can I get you?
Dr. Zoidberg: Is bread free?
Waiter at Elzars: Yes.
Dr. Zoidberg: We'll split an order.

"Futurama: Anthology of Interest I (#2.20)" (2000)
Dr. Zoidberg: [sees a guinea pig on a plate] What's this? Two meals in one week?
[Zoidberg devours the live guinea pig, and is trapped behind a glass box]
Fry: Gotcha!
Amy Wong: Sucker!
Dr. Zoidberg: Friends! Help! A guinea pig tricked me!

Dr. Zoidberg: So, anteater number one. Are you covering for someone? Is it anteater number two? Don't stick your tongue out at me. I need a name!
[Anteater makes noise]
Dr. Zoidberg: What? How do you spell that?

Fry: What are you monsters? Is one of you I.C. Wienner?
Dr. Zoidberg: If that's his pizza, then I'm I.C. whatever.

Dr. Zoidberg: My next clue came at 4:15, when the clock stopped. The next clue came two hours later, at 4:15, when I discovered the murdered body of Amy's dead, deceased corpse.

Dr. Zoidberg: Police. Bah! Nosy meddlers. It so happens that I have mail order degrees in murderology and murderonomy. Zoidberg is afoot!

Leela: Okay, just try to be nonchalant.
[Enters whistling nonchalantly]
Dr. Zoidberg: All right, so you're nonchalant. Quit rubbing our noses in it.

Dr. Zoidberg: So, now Zoidberg is big, huh? That's more like it! Who's intimidating who now, big city? Hello, Mr. Chase Manhattan Bank. Deny my credit card application, will you?
[destroys Chase Manhattan Bank building]
Dr. Zoidberg: Ah, the famed Apollo Theater. Boo me off stage on open mike night, eh? I'll show you!
[crushes Apollo Theater]

"Futurama: Xmas Story (#2.8)" (1999)
Dr. Zoidberg: You, a bobsledder? This I gotta see.
Hermes Conrad: Listen, you filthy crab. A thousand years ago there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsledders.
Fry: Yup, I remember. They came last in the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages.
Hermes Conrad: A true inspiration for the children.

Dr. Zoidberg: What's this? A card from my cousin Zoidfarb?
[reads card]
Dr. Zoidberg: Heh, heh. Instead of "Claus," he writes "Claws." Now that's humorous! Today's comedians could learn from this card.

[singing]
Amy Wong: He knows when you are sleeping.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: He knows when you're on the can.
Leela: He'll hunt you down and blast your ass / From here to Pakistan.
Dr. Zoidberg: Oh...
Hermes Conrad: You better not breathe / You better not move
Bender: You're better off dead, / I'm tellin' you, dude.
Fry: Santa Claus is gunning you down!

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Perhaps some skiing will help us forget the moldy old antics of Conan O'Brien.
Fry: Yeah!
Leela: Great idea!
Dr. Zoidberg: One can only hope.

Leela: Fry's outside? He's in great danger!
Dr. Zoidberg: Why?
Leela: I'm telling you why! Because Santa Claus is coming to town!

Santa Claus Robot: You have all been very naughty! Very naughty indeed! Except you, Dr. Zoidberg. This is for you.
Dr. Zoidberg: A pogo stick!

"Futurama: A Clone of My Own (#2.15)" (2000)
Dr. Zoidberg: I'm not saying Professor Farnsworth is old, but if you consider his age, he's likely to die soon.
[pause]
Dr. Zoidberg: [to Drummer] Hey, Ringo. That was the joke. Oh, it's Showtime at the Apollo all over again.

Dr. Zoidberg: Good evening, ladies and germs.
[rimshot]
Dr. Zoidberg: That wasn't a joke. I was talking to Dean Streptococcus.

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: So many loves half-loved. So many inventions half-invented. That damn time machine alone set me back fifteen years.
Dr. Zoidberg: If only it'd work, you could go back and not waste your time on it.

Fry: Sorry to disappoint you, but need I remind you?: blood is thicker than water.
Dr. Zoidberg: [writting] Blood... thicker?... water.

Cubert J. Farnsworth: As long as I'm going to be in charge here, let me examine my so-called crew, if it can so be called. First of all, "Doctor" Zoidberg, do you even have a medical degree?
Dr. Zoidberg: I lost it... in a volcano.

"Futurama: Raging Bender (#2.12)" (2000)
[Hermes is under the control of a brain slug, which is attached to his head]
Hermes Conrad: On to new business. Today's mission is for all of you to go to the brain slug planet.
Dr. Zoidberg: What are we going to do there?
Hermes Conrad: Just walk around not wearing a helmet.

Fry: [at the movie theater] Cool let's see this one!
[points to "Galaxy Wars"]
Leela: Nah, I'm not in the mood for a historical documentary. I've heard good things about 'Quizblorg, Quizblorg.'
Amy Wong: Guck! I hate subtitles. Alien films are so pretentious.
Dr. Zoidberg: Fellows, fellows, how about a film we can all enjoy? "Planet of the Clams": It's about an upside-down world where lobster is slave to clam.
Bender: Who invited you? Let's just see "All My Circuits: The Movie."
[all mumble in agreement]
Bender: Good point, Bender!

Dr. Zoidberg: I'm going to a movie, with friends!

Dr. Zoidberg: [ecstatic] I'm going to a movie... with FRIENDS.

[Hermes is under the control of a brain slug, which is attached to his head]
Hermes Conrad: On to new business. Today's mission is to go to the brain slug planet.
Dr. Zoidberg: What are we going to do there?
Hermes Conrad: Nothing. Just walk around not wearing a helmet.

"Futurama: The Deep South (#2.16)" (2000)
[Dr. Zoidberg's underwater home has burned down]
Dr. Zoidberg: My home! It burned down! How did this happened?
Hermes Conrad: That's a very good question.
Bender: [picking a lit cigar from the ashes] So that's where my cigar was.
Hermes Conrad: That just raises further questions!

Leela: It's pulling us under. Everybody inside.
Dr. Zoidberg: Wait, I'll save us all by cutting the unbreakable diamond filament.
[tries to break the filament, but it won't break]
Dr. Zoidberg: At least I'll die with all my friends.
[notices everyone has gone inside]
Dr. Zoidberg: Hello?

Dr. Zoidberg: [Wearing a giant conch shell] Look at me. I'm Dr. Zoidberg, homeowner.

[while fishing, Leela pulls in her line to find Dr. Zoidberg holding a boot on the end]
Leela: Oh, Dr. Zoidberg. Since when do you even wear boots?
Dr. Zoidberg: I wasn't wearing it. I was eating it.

Dr. Zoidberg: Fry, you can't stay here. Sure, they have the Braves, but it's a third-rate symphony.

"Futurama: Roswell That Ends Well (#4.1)" (2001)
President Truman: [Roswell, circa 1947] If you come in peace, surrender or be destroyed. If you're here to make war, we surrender.
Dr. Zoidberg: Both good. The important thing is, I'm meeting new people.
President Truman: Bushwah! Now what's your mission? Are you planning on making some kind of alien-human hybrid?
Dr. Zoidberg: Are you coming on to me?
President Truman: Hot crackers! I take exception to that.
Dr. Zoidberg: [coyly] I'm not hearing a no...

Dr. Zoidberg: [as a scientist is sawing at something during an autopsy] Don't cut that! I need that to speak!
[the scientist looks at his colleague, starts sawing faster]

Scientist: [an autopsy on Zoidberg is taking place] Heart.
Dr. Zoidberg: Take, I've got four of them!
Scientist: Stomach contents: One deviled egg.
Dr. Zoidberg: Deviled egg?
[eats it from the tray]
Scientist: [pause] The same deviled egg.

Dr. Zoidberg: The President is gagging on my gas bladder. What an honor.

Dr. Zoidberg: There... Good as new.
Leela: Don't you need this one?
Dr. Zoidberg: Oh, no! That's my...
[He coughs, grasps his throat and falls]
Dr. Zoidberg: [Rising up again] Gotcha!
[Leela glares at Zoidberg and throws Organ away]

"Futurama: My Three Suns (#1.7)" (1999)
Fry: [Fry struggles to cry and fails] It's no use. I want to cry, but I'm just too macho.
Bender: I'll make you cry, buddy. You're a pimple on society's ass and you'll never amount to anything.
Fry: Wha'd'you mean? I was emperor of a whole planet.
Bender: Good point... but here's a disturbing reminder: anyone you knew or loved in the 20th century is dead.
Fry: These things happen.
Bender: Okay, Fry, grab a Kleenex for this one, 'cause there's no god and your idiotic human ideals are laughable. Ha ha ha!
Fry: Phew, that's a load off my mind
Bender: Man, I guess it's harder than I thought to make someone cry.
Amy Wong: You did your best, Bender.
Bender: Up yours, bimbo!
[Amy cries]
Dr. Zoidberg: Let's face it, we're in hot butter here. We should call Leela for help.
Bender: Cram it, lobster!
[Zoidberg cries]

Amy Wong: Is this salt water?
Bender: It's salt with water in it, if that's what you mean.
Fry: My vision's fading! I think I'm gonna die!
Bender: There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose.
Dr. Zoidberg: Uh oh. I shouldn't have had seconds.

Dr. Zoidberg: A fancy dress gala? I'll wear my formal shell.

Amy Wong: I don't think you have anything to worry about. These people seem pretty mild-mannered.
Dr. Zoidberg: They are mild. In fact, you're soaking in one right now.
Gorgak: You've touched me in ways I've never been touched before.

Dr. Zoidberg: Relax, Fry. I'll simply spin you in a high-speed centrifuge, separating out the denser fluid of his highness.
Fry: But won't that crush my bones?
Dr. Zoidberg: Oh, right, right, with the bones. I always forget about the bones...

"Futurama: Bendin' in the Wind (#3.13)" (2001)
Dr. Zoidberg: It's toe-tappingly tragic.

Fry: Get your love beads here! You can't journey to the center of your mind without love beads!
Hippie #1: Wow, look at all the colors. These'll go great with my soul.
Dr. Zoidberg: Glad you like them. I've been making fine jewelry for years, apparently.
Hippie #2: I'll trade you a bad poem!

Bender: Oh, no! I forgot this is a hoverbridge!
Turanga Leela: And I forgot this isn't a hovercar!
Fry: Is any of that a problem?
Dr. Zoidberg: Not if you've lived a life without regret!

Dr. Zoidberg: [the gang is doing laundry] Bad news, friends. My shell ran.
[All the clothes are covered in pink swirls]
Amy Wong: Zoidberg, you idiot! My outfit! It's... It's...
Turanga Leela: Kinda cool.
Fry: Yeah, I like it.
Amy Wong: Me too, now that I'm used to it.
Dr. Zoidberg: Then it was all on purpose! You're lucky to have Zoidberg as a friend. But cross me and I'll turn on you like that!

Amy Wong: [Zoidberg is hacking into a tissue] You better not do that at the concert.
Dr. Zoidberg: I can't stop. When I eat too much dirt I get stuff in my throat.
Amy Wong: You are so disgusting! I...
[Gasps as she sees that Zoidberg is hacking up blue pearls; she takes a handful]
Amy Wong: They're beautiful!
Dr. Zoidberg: Eww, you're touching them!
Turanga Leela: I've never seen such beautiful pearls. Dr. Zoidberg, you're amazing!
Dr. Zoidberg: I am? At last, recognition!

"Futurama: The Day the Earth Stood Stupid (#3.7)" (2001)
[everyone on Earth except Fry is moronically stupid]
Fry: What are we going to do?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Duh, I know, let's play the lottery.
Amy Wong: No, let's buy internet stock.
Dr. Zoidberg: On margin. Zoidbee wants to buy on margin.
Hermes Conrad: [holding a board in front of his face] Look at me. I'm invisible.
Fry: Wait a minute, I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots.
Bender: Hey, let's all join the Reform party.
Everyone: Yeah.

Bender: Second place? That's a fancy word for losing.
[whips Zoidberg]
Bender: You didn't stick your landing!
Dr. Zoidberg: Forgive me, my friend?
Bender: Never!

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Zooka Barooka! First prize is $500 and a lifetime supply of dog food.
Bender: $500, you say?
Dr. Zoidberg: Dog food, you say?

Fry: Doctor Zoidberg, why is everyone acting so weird?
Dr. Zoidberg: Zoidbie want balloon! Want balloon now! Zoidbie want go outside!
Fry: But I just let you in!

[Everyone on Earth except Fry is moronically stupid]
Fry: What are we going to do?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Duh, I know, let's play the lottery.
Amy Wong: No, let's buy internet stock.
Dr. Zoidberg: On margin. Zoidbee wants to buy on margin.
Hermes Conrad: [holding a board in front of his face] Look at me. I'm invisible.
Fry: Wait a minute, I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots.
Bender: Hey, let's go join the Reform party.
Everyone: Yeah.

"Futurama: The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz (#3.9)" (2001)
Fry: What happened?
Dr. Zoidberg: All six thousand hulls have been breached.
Fry: Oh, the fools! Why didn't they build it with six thousand and one hulls? When will they learn?

Dr. Zoidberg: Now, if you'll excuse me, there is some ravioli on the floor with only two footprints on it.
[Bender passes by]
Dr. Zoidberg: Three footprints.
[Drops on floor and starts eating noisily]

Leela: Why weren't you kong donkeys outside cleaning up?
Dr. Zoidberg: They sent us inside for doing an unsatisfactory job... and eating penguin eggs.
Fry: You ate most of them.

Fry: No fair! Leela was training me to be captain. She even let me sit in her lap and steer... in this comic I drew.
Dr. Zoidberg: [Grabs comic] Ooh, the new one's out.

Futurama: Bender's Big Score (2007) (V)
Amy Wong: Look at us, living like trash-eating bums in an alley now.
Zoidberg: Yes... Now...

[everyone is huddled in a giant rock igloo on Neptune after the scammer aliens have taken over the Earth]
Bender: Rrrrr... it's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency!
Leela: What are you, a whining machine? If you want to worry about something, worry about the Yetis.
Zoidberg: Jedis?
[a chorus of howling Yetis is heard from a distance]
Zoidberg: Oh... YETIS!
Professor Farnsworth: Amy - you speak Yeti - what are they saying?
Amy Wong: I'm not sure, but it sounds like something to do with... assaulting the interlopers!
[a trio of giant Yetis smashes through the side of the rock igloo; everyone screams and scatters while Leela runs towards them]
Leela: Yeee-ah! Don't mess with me you ice-crapping snow honkys. I just got dumped!
[the Yetis flee in terror as Leela chases after them with a primitive spear]
Hermes Conrad: Sweet Yeti of the Serengeti! She's gone crazy Eddie in the heady!

[Hermes realizes that Zoidberg attached his head to his body backwards]
Hermes Conrad: You incompetent crab!
Zoidberg: I thought you were happy. Your tail is wagging.

Fry: So my copy lived 12 years longer before Bender killed him? I wonder what his life was like.
Scruffy: Hmm, I guess we'll never know.
Zoidberg: Or *will* we?
[pause]
Scruffy: Nope.
Narrator: [to audience] *They* won't know! But you *will*! Lucky you!

Futurama: Bender's Game (2008) (V)
Frydo: Why aren't you killing it, Leela? You love killing!
Leegola: [Looking at her reflection in her sword covered with Zoiberg's blood] No! No more killing!
Monster Zoidberg: Ohhhhhh! So suddenly Miss Goody Four Shoes over here doesn't kill anymore. She killed me not five minutes ago! What am I, chopped liver?
Leegola: Shut up!
[She starts slashing at him again with her sword]
Monster Zoidberg: Ow! Stop chopping my liver!

[Momon has transformed into a dragon and with the Die of Power, Frydo transforms into a dragon as well]
Frydo: So it's all come down to this... a dungeon... and dragons!
Monster Zoidberg: I didn't see it coming.

Dr. Zoidberg: You harbor resentment because they pushed you to study medicine when all you ever wanted was to be a song-and-dance man.
[He dances around and sings a tune then falls to his knees and sobs]
Dr. Zoidberg: Why? Whyyy?
Turanga Leela: I was raised in an orphanarium. My parents are sewer mutants who I never even met until a few years ago.
Dr. Zoidberg: Then you've got to go to them and work this song-and-dance stuff out. Maybe have them cook me nice dinner. No scallions. I hate them.
[to an intercom]
Dr. Zoidberg: Amy, cancel my appointments.
Amy Wong: [Over the intercom] Stop calling me!

Dr. Zoidberg: [Under attack by Bender] No! Not the spork!

"Futurama: The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings (#5.16)" (2003)
TV Advertisement: Yes, now you can hear holophonor virtuoso Philip Fry play 900 of his classic themes in your own home on this two-record set. That's over 30 minutes of music for only $14.99.
Dr. Zoidberg: Only $14.99 for a two-record set. Two records! Oh, Zoidberg, at last you're becoming a crafty consumer! Hello? I'll take eight!

[during Fry's opera]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I can't believe the devil is so unforgiving.
Dr. Zoidberg: I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing!

Hedonism Bot: Less reality, more fantasy. Resume the opera.
Fry: But I can't play anymore.
Dr. Zoidberg: Yes, you can! The music was in your heart, not your hands.
[Fry plays off key, everyone boos]
Dr. Zoidberg: Your music's bad, and you should feel bad!

TV Annoucement: Yes, now you can hear holophonor virtuoso Philip Fry play 900 of his classic themes in your own home on this two-record set. That's over 30 minutes of music for only $14.99.
Dr. Zoidberg: Only $14.99 for a two-record set. Two records! Oh, Zoidberg, at last you're becoming a crafty consumer! Hello? I'll take eight!

"Futurama: Insane in the Mainframe (#3.12)" (2001)
Roberto: [Holds Zoidberg at knifepoint] Back off! I have hostages!
Dr. Zoidberg: Hooray! I'm helping!

Fry: Blood? Robots don't have blood. I must be a... a...
Dr. Zoidberg: A squid?
Fry: A human! Oh, my God, I'm a human!
Dr. Zoidberg: Also good.

Hermes Conrad: I will now read the mandatory speech. "Dear employee: Has it really been five, ten, or fifteen years? If not, please disregard this and get back to work. Distribute token of apreciation and applaud."
Dr. Zoidberg: Look, coupons! I can get two oil changes for the price of one. Now if I could only afford the one. And the car. Ah, the years! So many memories, so many strange fluids gushing out of patients' bodies.
Hermes Conrad: Yes, yes. Now here's your pension statement. It's empty because you haven't paid into it, you dumb stinkbug!
Dr. Zoidberg: You kept track of it all these years!

Dr. Zoidberg: Fry, listen to me. Just because you say you're a robot doesn't make you a robot. Look at me. I call myself a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. These fancy clothes do.

"Futurama: Put Your Head on My Shoulder (#2.10)" (2000)
Hermes Conrad: Fry, Amy, put your pants on. I need to get a stapler.
Dr. Zoidberg: Stop! Stop! If you interrupt the mating dance, the male will become enraged and maul us with his fearsome gonad!

Dr. Zoidberg: I'm afraid your body was badly damaged in the crash.
Fry: How badly?
Dr. Zoidberg: That's it over there.

Dr. Zoidberg: There you are, good as new. Except for your dorsal fin. I'm afraid we couldn't find it after the crash.
Fry: Can I live without it?
Dr. Zoidberg: If you call that living.

"Futurama: I Second That Emotion (#2.5)" (1999)
Bender: Hey! I got a busted ass here and I don't see anyone kissing *it*!
Dr. Zoidberg: All right, I'm coming!

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Now I'll simply tune it to Leela's emotional frequency.
[Professor Farnsworth adjusts the empathy chip]
Bender: My God. I'm overcome with feelings. I'm experiencing a powerful yearning to... to cram my gullet full of mackerel heads.
Dr. Zoidberg: That's me, baby.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Hmmm.
[Professor Farnsworth readjusts the chip]
Bender: Now I'm worried I'm not as smart as Leela, but at the same time, I feel relieved I'm cuter than her.
Amy Wong: Uuh, that's me.
Fry: [Whispering to Amy] Thanks for covering.
Bender: This time, I miss Nibbler, and I'm feeling nosy and opinionated.
Amy Wong: Bingo.
Hermes Conrad: That's Leela.

Hermes Conrad: Aw, he's holding a spoon.
Dr. Zoidberg: He's *so* talented!

"Futurama: Anthology of Interest II (#4.3)" (2002)
[the Professor is The Wizard of Oz, Zoidberg is the Cowardly Lion]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: What do you nice kids want?
Dr. Zoidberg: Nothing. I'm leaving. But if you had extra courage I'd haul it away for you, maybe.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh blithery poop, my cowardly lobster. You don't need courage. After all, who needs courage when you have a gun?

[the winged monkeys have kidnapped everyone except Zoidberg]
Dr. Zoidberg: What, do I smell or something?
[sniffs armpit]
Dr. Zoidberg: Awww...

Dr. Zoidberg: Courage. Not enough of it. Need some from what's-his-name.

"Futurama: Future Stock (#4.9)" (2002)
That Guy: There are two kinds of people: sheep and sharks. Anyone who is a sheep is fired. Who is a sheep?
Dr. Zoidberg: Errr, excuse me... which is the one people like to hug?
That Guy: Gutsy question. You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back because they have no necks. Necks are for sheep.

Dr. Zoidberg: Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor.

Dr. Zoidberg: This company's circuling the drain, I tell you! I'd sell my shares right now for a sandwich.
That Guy: Sold!
[Gives Zoidberg a sandwich and takes his shares]
Dr. Zoidberg: A complete sandwich? Ha! You got fleeced! I would have settled for a hard roll with ketchup inside.

"Futurama: I Dated a Robot (#3.15)" (2001)
Bender: What is the world coming to? That Fry is a sicko poivert, I tell ya! Dating a robot... it's an attrocimacy!
Leela: But Fry is our friend, Bender.
Bender: Ah, geez! Would you stifle there, meatbag?
Leela: You stifle, Bender!
Dr. Zoidberg: Hooray! Finally, you're standing up to him.

Dr. Zoidberg: [Fry wants to visit the edge of the universe] It's funny, you live in the universe, but you never get to do this things until someone comes to visit.

"Futurama: A Fishful of Dollars (#1.6)" (1999)
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but anchovies went extinct in the 2200s.
Fry: Wha?
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth: Oh, my, yes. Fished out of existence... just about the time your people arrived on Earth, Dr. Zoidberg.
Dr. Zoidberg: I'm not on trial here.
Fry: So, none of you have ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were salty and oily and melted in your mouth...
Dr. Zoidberg: Okay, okay! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying one more couldn't hurt, and then they were gone! We're sorry!

Dr. Zoidberg: That stench. That heavenly stench!
[Eats all the anchovies]
Dr. Zoidberg: More. More.
Fry: There aren't any more, and there never will be.
Dr. Zoidberg: [advances menacingly] More! More! More! *More!*

"Futurama: War Is the H-Word (#3.2)" (2000)
Nurse: Are you ready to operate, doctor?
Dr. Zoidberg: I'd love to, but first I have to perform surgery.

Dr. Zoidberg: Scalpel. Blood bucket. Priest. Next patient!
iHawk: Geez, Zoidberg. Leave some for the enemy to kill.
Nurse: You leave Dr. Zoidberg alone. He has twice the training you have.
iHawk: Yeah, he's a doctor and a butcher.
[laughs]
Dr. Zoidberg: See, this is how it starts. First with the jokes, then comes the heavy stuff.
iHawk: [Turns switch from irreverent to maudlin] When will the killing end?

"Futurama: The Farnsworth Parabox (#5.10)" (2003)
Fry: Whatever is in that box, it's the only thing I ever wanted.
Dr. Zoidberg: In my experience, boxes are usually empty, or maybe with a little cheese stuck to the top. And one time, pepperoni. What a day that was!

Turanga Leela 1: Fine, you be crummy Universe "A", and we'll be Universe "1".
Philip J. Fry 1: Yeah, or the Mongooses, that's a good team name. "The Fighting Mongooses."

"Futurama: The Luck of the Fryrish (#3.10)" (2001)
[At the horse races]
Hermes Conrad: Come on, baby needs a new pair of shoes.
Dr. Zoidberg: The hell with your spoiled baby. I need those shoes.

Dr. Zoidberg: So the clover is still in the hiding place, maybe?
Fry: Hey, yeah! Maybe it's still there, underground in the ruins of Old New York, helping some ant defeat another ant, or helping some piece of dirt turn its luck around.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Dirt doesn't need luck.

"Futurama: Amazon Women in the Mood (#3.5)" (2001)
Dr. Zoidberg: And that's the story of how I got my new shell. It looks just like the one I threw out yesterday, and I found it in the same dumpster. But this one had a live raccoon inside.
[licks his lips]

Dr. Zoidberg: Well, I'm taking this old shell to the dumpster, and maybe pick up some more of those potato chips Amy threw away.
Amy Wong: Those were toe nail clipings.
Dr. Zoidberg: A feast is a feast.

"Futurama: 30% Iron Chef (#4.11)" (2002)
Dr. Zoidberg: Aw, I'll never recombobulate this ship. When the professor finds out, he'll tear me a new cloaca.

Dr. Zoidberg: Surrender your secrets to Zoidberg.

"Futurama: Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV (#5.15)" (2003)
Fry: What kind of bozos would form a Bender protest group?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! Hermes and I have formed a Bender protest group.
Dr. Zoidberg: That was uncanny.

Dr. Zoidberg: [arrives at Cubert's birthday party dressed as a tramp] Hey, boys and girls. It's Zoidberg, the loveable tramp.
Turanga Leela: Since when do you perform children parties?
Dr. Zoidberg: Performing? What? Can anyone spare some money to buy a pair of shoes?

"Futurama: Spanish Fry (#5.12)" (2003)
Fry: We have to track down my nose before some alien snarfs it and does the worm. Who's in?
Leela: Me, Bender, and maybe Zoidberg if he feels like it.
Dr. Zoidberg: No, I'm good.

Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Don't tell me you believe in Bigfoot, you blithering ninny-hammer.
Fry: Of course I do. Bigfoot's my hero. Growing up, he was the celebrity I most identified with.
Dr. Zoidberg: Why?
Fry: 'Cause he was a loner who hated the popular monsters, yet longed to be one.
Dr. Zoidberg: I can so relate to that.

"Futurama: Love and Rocket (#4.4)" (2002)
Dr. Zoidberg: [voiceover] As the candy hearts poured into the fiery quasar, a wondrous thing happened, why not. They vaporized into a mystical love radiation that spread across the universe, destroying many, many planets, including two gangster planets and a cowboy world. But one planet was exactly the right distance to see the romantic rays but not be destroyed by them: Earth. So all over the world couples stood together in joy. And me, Zoidberg. And no one could have been happier unless it would have also been Valentine's Day. What? It was? Hooray.

Dr. Zoidberg: [voice-over] As the candy hearts poured into the fiery quasar a wondrous thing happened, why not. They vaporized into a mystical love radiation that spread across the universe destroying many, many planets, including two gangster planets and a cowboy world. But one planet was exactly the right distance to see the romantic rays but not be destroyed by them: Earth. So all over the world couples stood together in joy. And me, Zoidberg. And no one could have been happier unless it would have also been Valentine's Day. What? It was? Hooray.

"Futurama: Love's Labours Lost in Space (#1.4)" (1999)
[Amy wants to take Leela out to cheer her up]
Amy Wong: Let's all take her out tonight. There's lots of great places to meet people.
Hermes Conrad: The Federal Sex Bureau.
Bender: A saucy puppet show.
Dr. Zoidberg: The rotting carcass of a whale.
Amy Wong: Mmmmm... I'll pick.

Dr. Zoidberg: The female Leela's problem is purely medical. Soon she will drop her eggs and they will hatch and all will be well.

"Futurama: Where the Buggalo Roam (#4.6)" (2002)
Leo Wong: Anyway, make yourselves at home.
[Dr. Zoidberg comes downstairs wearing a bathrobe]
Dr. Zoidberg: Don't mind if I already did. By the way, do you have any more of this Dom Perignon bubble bath? There was only enough to fill the tub halfway.

Dr. Zoidberg: I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar.

"Futurama: Less Than Hero (#5.6)" (2003)
Dr. Zoidberg: [Fry and Leela's muscles hurt after building the supercollider] I've got just the thing: genuine miracle cream I bought from a travelling salesman. "Come one, come all", he said, "Step right up". "This deal sounds too good to be true", I thought. He said I looked like a smart, young man. "So, is it a deal?", I enquired. Two hours later he was gone, with sixty of my dollars. But I have the miracle cream!

Turanga Leela: Let's see, which powers do we have. Super strength?
[Leela breaks a table, Fry kicks a hole in the wall]
Fry: Yep.
Turanga Leela: Lickety speed?
[they run to the other end of the room in less than a second]
Fry: Check.
Turanga Leela: Yes, sir. Ability to command the loyalty of sea creatures?
Fry: Hey, Zoidberg! Get in here!
Dr. Zoidberg: Screw you!
Turanga Leela: Ain't got that.
Fry: Nope.

"Futurama: A Bicyclops Built for Two (#2.13)" (2000)
Dr. Zoidberg: [crying at the wedding] That pig has the same sandals as me.

"Futurama: The Why of Fry (#5.8)" (2003)
Fry: Delivery boy Philip J. Fry, reporting for duty.
Dr. Zoidberg: Doctor Zoidberg, soaking in brine.

"Futurama: Three Hundred Big Boys (#5.11)" (2003)
Elzar: Here you are, big spender. Foie gras and caviar.
Dr. Zoidberg: [sniffs it] Goose liver? Fish eggs? Feh! Where's the goose? Where's the fish?
Elzar: Hey, that's what rich people eat, the garbage parts of the food.
Dr. Zoidberg: I ate garbage yesterday, and it didn't cost me 300 dollars. I'm not paying! I bid you good day, sir!

"Futurama: Hell Is Other Robots (#1.9)" (1999)
Leela: Bender, we don't mind your drinking, and your kleptomania, and your pornography ring.
Dr. Zoidberg: In fact, that's why we love you.

"Futurama: The Sting (#5.9)" (2003)
Bender: This is great! My buddy's alive, and his credit cards are valid again! Let's go get hammered!
[All cheer]
Dr. Zoidberg: I should warn you. I'm a mean drunk.

"Futurama: A Flight to Remember (#2.1)" (1999)
Leela: Oh, God, not Zapp Brannigan.
Dr. Zoidberg: You know Zapp Brannigan?
Leela: Let's just say we've crossed paths.
Bender: Was that before or after you slept with him?

"Futurama: How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back (#2.14)" (2000)
Hermes Conrad: [throwing mail tubes into various cubbies]
Dr. Zoidberg: [singing] They said that I shouldn't be a surgeon !
Dr. Zoidberg: [singing] They po-po'd my Electric Frankfurter!
Leela: [singing] They said I shouldn't fly with just one eye!
[She gets hit in the eye with a mail tube]
Bender: [slow and lackluster] I am Bender please insert girder.

"Futurama: A Tale of Two Santas (#4.2)" (2001)
Dr. Zoidberg: And I'm his friend, Jesus!

"Futurama: Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles (#5.7)" (2003)
Dr. Zoidberg: [devolved into a squid-like creature] Hooray! I'm a teenage heartthrob again!

"Futurama: Fear of a Bot Planet (#1.5)" (1999)
Dr. Zoidberg: I'll have some squid log.
Hot Dog Vendor: Sorry, we don't serve that.
Dr. Zoidberg: Fine, then I'll have one of your young on a roll.
Hot Dog Vendor: We don't serve rolls.
Dr. Zoidberg: Fine, just give me something crawling with parasites.
[Cut to Zoidberg and the others eating hot dogs]
Fry: At least hot dogs haven't changed.

"Futurama: Time Keeps on Slipping (#3.14)" (2001)
Dr. Zoidberg: Don't be so hard on yourself, Fry. You lost the woman of your dreams, but you still have Zoidberg. YOU ALL STILL HAVE ZOIDBERG!

"Futurama: The Route of All Evil (#5.3)" (2002)
Dr. Zoidberg: What is this? Angry shouting or hearing-aid-busted shouting?
Hermes Conrad: I'm afraid it's both.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: [shouting] What?

"Futurama: Proposition Infinity (#6.4)" (2010)
Dr. Zoidberg: [while inspecting Amy's engagement ring from Bender] Such a stone! Is it real?
[Amy carves a circle in Zoidberg's shell]
Dr. Zoidberg: Hooray!
Professor Farnsworth: Hooray denied! Need I remind you that robosexual marriage is illegal?
Turanga Leela: Not in Space Massachusetts.
Bender: You mean Space Tax-achusetts? No chance, judge-pants! We're gonna fight to legalize it right here!
Hermes Conrad: Ya mon! Ya got to legalize it!
Amy Wong: We're talking about robosexual marriage.
Hermes Conrad: We're talking about lots of stuff.

"Futurama: The Series Has Landed (#1.2)" (1999)
Dr. Zoidberg: Now open your mouth and lets have a look at that brain.
[Fry opens his mouth]
Dr. Zoidberg: No, no, not that mouth.
Fry: I only have one.
Dr. Zoidberg: Really?
Fry: Uh... is there a human doctor around?
Dr. Zoidberg: Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it and say "brglgrglgrrr"!
Fry: Uh... brglgrglgrglgrrr!
Dr. Zoidberg: What? My mother was a saint! Get out!

"Futurama: Bender Gets Made (#2.17)" (2000)
Dr. Zoidberg: I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's treated.

"Futurama: Crimes of the Hot (#5.1)" (2002)
Dr. Zoidberg: Strange. Why would Nixon, an awkward, uncomfortable man, suddenly throw a party, one of the most social events imaginable? Is a trap, is why! They're going to deactivate all the robots!
[pause]
Dr. Zoidberg: I don't hear any gasping.
Leela: We all figured that out.
Dr. Zoidberg: Aw.

"Futurama: Bend Her (#5.13)" (2003)
Bender: My dreams are over before they began!
Dr. Zoidberg: [happily] Welcome to my life!
[starts crying]

"Futurama: The Cryonic Woman (#3.3)" (2000)
Leela: Please, Professor... give us our jobs back. We deserve another chance.
Bender: Yeah. And if you won't give me another chance perhaps you'd give one to...
[Puts on the gorilla mask]
Bender: Og. Gorilla Emperor of Earth.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Sorry, Og. But I've got a new crew.
[to Hermes, Amy and Zoidberg, who are coming out of the ship]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: So, how was your delivery to Fantasy Planet where everyone's fantasies come to life?
Amy Wong: Great.
Hermes Conrad: Organized.
Dr. Zoidberg: For one beautiful night I knew what it was to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.

"Futurama: Godfellas (#4.8)" (2002)
[Prof. Farnsworth is searching for Bender with his Smelloscope]
Leela: Anything yet, professor?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I'm afraid the Smelloscope can't locate Bender. His fragrance is too mild. It's being overwhelmed by local sources.
[Everyone looks at Zoidberg]
Dr. Zoidberg: Hooray! Now I'm the center of attention.

"Futurama: Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch (#5.5)" (2003)
[at Kif's baby shower]
Fry: Hello everyone! Everybody we invited is here.
Dr. Zoidberg: Also Zoidberg!

"Futurama: The Lesser of Two Evils (#2.11)" (2000)
Dr. Zoidberg: It's funny because it's poisonous!

Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs (2008) (V)
Dr. Zoidberg: I thought I was fighting for my freedom!
Professor Farnsworth: NO!

"Futurama: A Head in the Polls (#2.7)" (1999)
Dr. Zoidberg: You know, Fry, you could join a third party, maybe.
Amy Wong: Pfft! Only weirdos and mutants join third parties.
Dr. Zoidberg: Really? I'd better keep an eye out at the next meeting.

"Futurama: Bendless Love (#3.6)" (2001)
Turanga Leela: [Picks up L-shaped piece of metal] This is a normal L-unit. Without it, space travel is but the fevered dream of a madman.
Philip J. Fry: Yep.
Bender: Of course.
Amy Wong: Doy!
Hermes Conrad: It's an important unit.
Turanga Leela: And this, my friends, is the L-unit just removed from the ship.
[Unveils a straightened piece of metal; all gasp]
Philip J. Fry: That doesn't look like an L at all. Unless you count lower-case.
Bender: You know we don't!
[Slaps Fry]
Turanga Leela: Whoever did this was strong. This is 340 pounds of Tonka tough steel.
Bender: [Picks up L-unit] Hmmm, it should look like this...
[Bends into L shape]
Bender: ... but instead it looks like this.
[Straightens it out again]
Philip J. Fry: Who would do such a thing?
Bender: Who *could* do such a thing? And by that I mean this.
[Bends L-unit back and forth]
Dr. Zoidberg: Well, gang, it looks like we have another mystery on our hands.